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I haven't checked my mail in 2 years:




Naming your movie Avatar in this highly cartoon oriented world is something of a gamble even when you're James Cameron, arguably the greatest man who ever lived. Well, accordingly to his own imaginary biography I suppose. Try googling Avatar and be flooded with images of some bald kid fighting against battleships. Looks pretty awesome really. Why can't they make a movie of that instead?

Yeah, bobble battles for everyone!

Also, look at page 2 of this 'avatar' google search and you come across seemingly random clothing programs which are as awesome as they are incomprehensible.

Oh and also on page 2 is this picture which makes about as much sense as putting a dog on cocaine just for laughs.

Seriously, what the hell is going on in this picture? I haven't left the second page yet and this is already the weirdest google search I have ever done!

Finally, on page 4 I came across a picture that has to do with the movie Avatar and that's what I presumably wanted to write about when I started searching in the first place. So, lets give this another try.



Every now and then a movie comes out that defines the movie genre all over again. In the 1970's that was Starwars. In the 1980's that was Terminator. In the 1980's that was Jurassic park and in the 00's it was Lord of the rings. Now, at the edge of the end of this dreadful first decade of what was once considered the far future the next step is taken. Its Avatar.

The story takes us to glorious 3D Pandora. A world so completely alien and hostile to humans we can't even breathe there. To establish contact with the locals and make the stealing of their resources a lot easier we use artificial bodies called avatars. Jake Scully is charged with making contact and forcing the blue locals to move of a particularly large vein of stuff that Earth needs. The name of this stuff is stolen from the movie 'the core.'

The world looks breathtakingly awesome. However, the characters are somehow all somewhat familiar to me. Lets think about this a moment.

Right, half of them are copied from earlier Cameron movies. The badass colonel. The tough research chick. Cameron has looked in his big book of movie stereotypes and picked what he liked best. I can't blame him either. The movie going public wants to see some familiarity and putting a Terminator in a movie is always a good idea, no matter what.

The best part of the movie is the relation between jake Sully and local native Neytiri who is played by Zoe Saldana (Uhura) and still manages to be hot despite being blue, gigantic and clearly an alien. Yes, the movie has managed to get me interested in actual relations and less about murderous violence. I honestly wanted to see how their relation would develop and if them being from different worlds would pose a problem. All this is presented in mindblowing 3D gorgeousness.

Right up to this point I was already blown away. This movie will define everything for the foreseeable future. All movies will be measured to it. And it will probably be James Cameron again who eventually pushes the bar even higher. In a decade or so. So get on with it, new decade! I want to see the future again!

And then when I think it can't possibly get any better a war breaks out. And for the first time since movie battles were invented I found myself on the side of the aliens. Sounds simple enough but lets stick with this for a moment.

I'm never on the side of the aliens. They gotta die. Even in movies where its clearly the idea the audience sides with the aliens I usually shout 'death to the greenskins!' at the screen. In this movie, the aliens were just to right. The humans were just pushing their asshole agenda to much. And when the awesome gunships start buzzing, I wanted them to burn. Touché, Cameron.

Like everything else in this movie, the air fights are godly awesome. I honestly don't know a superlative big enough to describe it but it blew me away. Completely. I was stunned. Stunned into mute stunnedness.

I can't go on with this. Its just to perfect. Its just to beautiful. I'm sure I can find some criticism when I look hard enough but even now, after a week the images are still to gorgeous for my brain to find fault in this movie.

It is truly the next step. May we all live long enough to witness something more awesome then this because it surely must be heaven on earth.


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