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Christian rock sucks!

 

What the hell is up with Christian rock? Suddenly we started giving mediocre musicians and awful singers the chance to pollute our TV time with their thrice damned poor excuses for music?

I hate Christaian rock. I hate the hypocrisy of the Christians in general but by listening to this tripe I virtually feel my IQ dropping from normal to true dumbass disciple of some new church. And trust me when I say that no regular church goer is blessed with a big IQ since its nigh impossible to suffer 2 hours of  Christian fairytales without having the urgent need to take a flamethrower and burn stuff down. BURN DAMN YOU!!

Why are preachers so boring anyway? When we were occupied by the Spanish that was different. Hedge priests would preach about hell and damnation all day and call upon all the names of all the demons in fictional existence to make the people believe. Heck, if modern priest threw that kind of shit around I might actually be interested! Here, let me give you a taste:

 

And all those who are not here this night. THEY SHALL SUFFER IN ETERNAL BURNINATION! bURN UNTIL THE END OF TIMES IN uncomfortable positions and without nice pillows!

thou shallt visit the 7 circles of hell and meet up with satan himself to be poked with sharp stickers and be burnt! Burnt until thou cannot suffer to be burntt anymore! burn burnt!!!

 

Wow, thats some insane preaching right there!

Anyways...Christian rock sucks. On Dutch TV there are now 2 commercials being drilled into our brains. One for the Oslo Gospel choir. Gospel choir? I have just a few words for that. Get the hell out and leave the door behind you! Goddamn, non beer drinking gospels choirs think they can enter just any continent! Screw that shit.

The second is for 'I worship'. The biggest collection of mediocrity I ever laid eyes on. Holy crap! When will these people learn that just because you sing 'I love Jezus' doesn't make your music any less crappy!

Ok, in conclusion. Christian rock sucks. Badly. 'I worship' , to use Bart Simpsons words, both sucks and blows and we didn't previously know that was physically possible. If I can offer you any piece of advice over 2006 it would be not to buy any of this mediocre crap, even you are Christian. Jezus would not have wanted it this way!

 

Christian rock sucks!

 

Back to the world of rules and sucks


Religion got boring after the inquisition quit.

dutchman@sucksornot.info