I haven't checked my mail in 2 years:
The Inglourious basterds
Every once in a while I get a text message saying 'Tarantino tonight?' indicating that the man who is widely held responsible for making some of the best popcorn movies in existence has released a new masterpiece of coolness on the fully expecting public. Last time, it was 'Deathproof' which I found a little disappointing save for one ball-crackingly badass car chase that saved the entire movie. And now, he made one about World war 2, arguably my favorite bit of history.
The story revolves around a survivor of the Nazi death squads, Shosanna, in France running a movie theatre where a very special movie is going to be shown. Stolz der nation is due to premiere there and for this important occasion all high ranking Nazi's will be there, including Hitler. Shosanna plans to blow them all up thus avenging her entire family who were killed at the hands of Jew hunter Hans Landa.
And there we are. Hans Landa is the single character who makes the endless dialogues and at times dragging scenes (really, did we need to see him eat the whole damn strudel?) totally and completely worthwhile. The man's evil on a scale only a few movie characters are. I absolutely loved this character and it wasn't hard to figure out why. Holy crap, he's like agent Smith with a horrible yet awesome sense of humor.
Weirdly, the titular characters are little more then a side plot in the movie. Brad Pitt and his squad of bastards have been killing Nazi's, sure, but they only get a few moments of Nazi slaying before we get back to the impossibly insane love story between Friedrich Zoller and Shosanna. Yes, the moment where he says 'Bonjourno' is funny as hell and sure, the Bearjew is freaking scary but in all honesty, this movie could have done without the whole basterd group and still be cool. Because of Hans Landa. Hans Landa almost single handedly makes this movie awesome from beginning to end. He steals the glory from everyone and only Hitler can match him in pure insanity.
For my tastes this movie had far to little violence in it and that's a stark contrast with its predecessor 'the real inglorious bastards' where Nazi's are mowed down with industrial efficiency. The dialogues are clever as hell, as is only right in a Tarantino movie and the characters are mostly awesome but somehow I didn't think this flick delivers on the many awesome promises it makes in its trailer.
Oh, and I won't admit it but the ending where all of history is totally fucked up bothered me more then I initially thought it would. Thanks for dumbing down our youth even more then they already are. I swear to God, the first kid who thinks Tarantino's version is what actually happened will get smacked with a stick.