What's this about?

The Dutch articles



















I haven't checked my mail in 2 years:



Ninja assassin

Right, a movie about ninja assassins. About time too. The last big movie that had ninjas was GI Joe and that was, like, a century ago!

Movies with ninjas are inherently awesome. There is a mystical element to them that complements the insane bloodiness that tends to follow them around. Finish it off with stealth, swords and some cool one liners and you can't possibly go wrong.

Ninja assassin follows the ninja formula perfectly. We get to see the ninja life of Raizo, someone so talented at stealth and general ninja-ing he could have been Batman, although with more violent intentions. The opening scene allow no mistake about the purpose of ninjas. They kill people for money. Raizo has some problems with this whole arrangement and rebels against his clan. He comes into contact with Interpol and, inevitably, a girl who finds him attractive. The love angle gets a bit drowned in blood though when the rest of the clan comes hunting for him.

We learn that ninjas aren't just masters of stealth. Apparently they can walk on walls, speak in their own shadow language and smell a victim 20 miles away. These super powers are never explained nor do they make sense but luckily that doesn't deter from the action. What did annoy me was the weird motivations Raizo had for quitting the clan. What, being forced to watch as your girlfriend ninja gets killed wasn't a problem but getting an assignment to kill a fat purple wearing asshole triggers your conscience? Prioritize!

Luckily, the action is FUBAR and so all other considerations quickly go away. Away like a bad dream. The Interpol versus Ninja battle is a clash of technology and old fashionism (not an actual word but fitting nonetheless) and it rocks your socks. Throw in some chases, ninja stuff and a poorly developed love story and you got yourself a movie. Not the greatest movie ever by all means but then, what can we expect from someone who is not James Cameron?


Back to the world of sucks and rules