True men

We might as well face it. Men are shallow, uncomplicated creatures, usually with the intellectual capacity of a dead battery. Not that there's anything the matter with dead batteries, mind you. There was a time when you could trade those things for a videogame and videogames rule.

Anyway, numerous as they are the American men of the world probably show us the qualities of the modern 21st century man like no other nationality could. TV shows, movies and books all show us these men as they are, lazy, thick but unevitably charming and succesful and happy in their own right. I would illustrate this point by naming 3 men and taking a look at their qualities. perhaps we can all elarn from this experience or perhaps we hide under the couch, praying that we won't turn out like them. Either way, I win.


Al Bundy

A man's man. Jock from origin but turned out just fine as he is. Sells shoes for a living, hates his kids, hates his wife, doesn't use a toothbrush because thats for sissies, loves his car and lives with the realisation that his life is a complete and utter failure. Yet he battles on, clinging to the small pleasures of life. He once spend an entire episode trying to get hold of a tape with the original 'Avengers' to see the butt of Emma Peel. Now there's a man.

Al, with his favoureite occupation, doing nothing. With style.


Andy Anderson

Louie Anderson's father. A true American if ever there existed one. He fought in WW2 where he single handedly repulsed a Japanese attack with nothing but a frying pan and a burning ass. He offers young Louie with great manly advice, pops a beer after a hard day at work and is bitter to the point of being catatonic. This is a song he once sang while driving a tractor: Sing along if you know the words!

Old McDonald had a farm!

But the government took it away from him.....urrrrr what a world (mumbles for 5 minutes)









Andy's the one in back, hunting the monster bass while causing a fireworks disaster. It doesn't get much manlier then that.....


Homer Simpson

What the hell do I need to explain about Homer Simpson that you don't already know? He works at a nuclear plant where he causes more meltdowns then a truckload of former soviet Ukranian scientists, drinks more beer then I could ever manage at a thursday night and BARBECUES HIS MEAT ON TOP OF HIS CHIMNEY!!! Thats a level of manliness we can only dream of (the practical problems of barbecuing on your rooftop are impressive on their own, believe me I've thought about it. It has to be one hell of a fire and you need large chunks of meat. Getting the meat to lose the taste of smoke is nigh impossible but I suppose Homer doesn't care about taste, he cares about the sheer coolness of it all)

What the hell am I babbling?? You should be worshipping at the altar of Simpson!










Homer, showing us the things that are really important in life and ridiculing Leonardo DaVinci at the same time. Sweet.....


Nothing left to say but:


Men rule!



Back to the world of rules and sucks

Know any more true men? Let me know.