Uncle Sam

Most people in America think that they are hated by everyone else in the world. This has good cause of course since you gave us international wars we have nothing to do with, make us pay import taxes for bringing stuff to the US and basically control the global economy. You also gave us Bob Saget, who is universally hated I'm sure.

Despite America's obvious shortcomings its still not hard to find stuff thats good about the US of A. Stuff that affects some of us and stuff that affects most of us. Stuff that represents universal coolness.

Therefore I'm proud to present,

The flying Dutchman's 10 reasons why the US is better then Holland

10. Bigger country

Bigger means more diversity. You can lie on the beach and ski in the same nation which is pretty cool. You can make a trip through the US that lasts as long as you want it to last. Endless opportunities.

9. Lower gas prices

See? War does have its uses. One of my American contacts once informed me of the gas price over there and I was alarmed to see it was barely half of what it costs here. Glory to you.

8. Lower taxes

Apparently republicans have their uses to. Apart from using them as kindling and making them pull ores on Spanish slave ships I mean. Taxes were never lower and certainly don't match with what we have to pay here. Once again, glory to you.

7. Cooler monuments

Ok, we have big palaces and medieval castles but thats about it. The US also has castles (imported from Ireland and England) and adds old Egyptian and Roman monuments to that. Neo classic construction in Washington also ensures that the congress and Lincoln memorial feature very cool column architecture. You learned the lesson from the ancient Europeans well.

6. Bigger army

Yes well, no getting around this is there? The US military owns all other armies (yet can't seem to break Iraqi rebels..). Massive amounts of nukes, submarines, surface ships, tanks, airplanes and troops will ensure US power for a long time to come.

5. US Owns the UN

For years the US had the biggest debt to the UN in the world. They just didn't pay a dime, yet continued to own the house. Russia and China go haywire about US power in the UN and with the appointment of Bolton as US representative Bush wiped his ass with all criticism. The US continues to rule the UN.

4. All the cool TV shows come from the US

Its true, I'm a stargate fan and have all 9 seasons on DVD. All cool television shows seem to come from America and we can only come up with such abominations as 'big brother'which served as nothing more but an exercise to keep vomit down as long as possible. We have bored many countries with that monster and I apologize on behalf of my people.

3.Most cool video games come from the US

This is also quite inevitable. Blizzard, EA they all come from America and continue to own the gaming industry. We wouldn't have it any other way.

2. US makes all the big Movies

I await the new Spiderman and Transformers movies with a great level of anxiety. American movies utterly rule the cinema of today and I pray to whatever deity protects the movie industry that it is never taken over by Indian movies which seem to revolve around dancing, singing and assorted gayness.

1. US saved Europe from ze Germans

Naturally, you need some historic knowledge and appreciation to fully understand the choice of putting this fact on nr 1. Some Europeans liked being under the iron heel of fascism and joined to fight the soviets. Most however preferred freedom and were cxompletely overjoyed when the invasion in France begun. Americans, Britans and canadians were welcomed as saviours in every country they came across and the sacrifice should not be forgotten.

Oh, this doesn't mean you can drag us into another war and expect full support, although if the target is Belgium I'd join up straight away. Belgium is sorta part of the axis of evil....right?


Not believing I'm saying this...but America Rules!


Back to the world of rules and sucks