Uncle Sam again

I linked my article 'uncle Sam' of a little while ago to several forums to show that its not the entire world that hates them, just a select part of it. The reactions were somewhat surprising to me, as I had expected some sort of positive comments. Instead I got comments like'I LOL'd'. LOL'd still isn't a word, thank god and as long as I breath I pray to whatever deity protects our language that it never will. Screw you and screw LOL'd.

When someone found it necessary to bring up the battle for the Java sea in order to demonstrate how inferior Holland is to the US I had enough. I couldn't believe the self righteous arrogance with which the article was apparently received and I figured it was time to revert to some good old America hating. After all, it is a national sport in over 120 countries worldwide and keeps gaining in popularity. Keep supplying foreign fighters with stinger missiles and may you never get hit by your own merchandise.

Right, lets get on with it...



The flying Dutchman's 10 reasons why Holland is better the the US


10. Worst democracy ever....

Sweet fancy Mozes, can't you people organise even a single decent election? The 2000 one was the biggest electoral disaster in human history. I know of third world countries ruled by bloodthirsty despots who seem to at least grasp the basic concept of democracy before  wiping their ass with it. In Florida it seemed like you simply don't get the idea. COUNT THE VOTES! Any country where the supreme court can decide to ignore a lot of votes is a awful country.

You did the trick again in 2004 although the democrats were quicker in giving up and in the 2006 congress elections the state of Montana is getting a recount. This is gonna take weeks. Try using computers a bit more...it helps.

9. Busy losing from Iraqi rebels

In the first article I had mentioned the military might of America. Now a bunch of Iraqi rebels with pipe bombs and AK-47's seem to be putting a crimp in that image as effectively as the Vietnamese did over 30 years ago. You'd think that the great military minds in washington could adapt to the tactics of the rebels. Its impossible you say? They keep hitting and running you say?

NEWS FLASH. Hit and run guerilla tactics are nothing original nor are they invincible. In fact they were used on Indonesia against the Dutch occupation army in 1837. The Dutch initially didn't know what to do until general van Heutsz took command and routed the rebels with devastating counter attacks. This is one of the few instances where a guerilla army was effectively and quickly defeated by a conventional army. The only conceivable conclusion is therefore, we rule, you don't.

8. Outbluffed by Holland

I love this one and it took place just a few years go when the international court in the Hague was establishing rules for convicting international war criminals. The US made it clear that it would never condone US soldiers being tried in Holland and president Bush tried to get a law past congress that allowed the US military to invade Holland to release such prisoners. Yes, there was a law that ALLOWED America to legally invade Holland even though we're supposed to be allies. Good going in alienating some of your most loyal friends, assholes.

Anyway, it didn't work. Holland would not be overbluffed and still made it possible for American war criminals to be tried in the Hague leaving Bush with his ridiculous law against us. Willingness to join the army should the Americans ever invade rose by 200%. We're even more ready to defend our country from America then we want to invade Belgium.  We won, you lost.

7. The Kyoto screwup

Disgraceful....wouldn't you say? Here we are with barely a few decades left of useable planet and we let a bunch of cliche evil republicans ruin the oh so important Kyoto treaty. The excuse that India and China wouldn't participate doesn't fly since we've been exploiting the planet for a hundred years already while they have barely begun...give them a few decades of pollution, they've earned the right! Instead, you should be providing an example to the rest of the world.

This isn't the first time the US back out from an important treaty because it damaged their own economy just a little. The mine thing is another example. Here we have 2 dozen countries desperate to get rid of mines in the world but America decides it needs to go on selling the little things because it makes a buck. How do you sleep at night?

6. No originality in names

America was named after Amerigo Vespucci while Christopher Columbus got Columbia... The US of America should have been the US of Columbia. There is a rampant lack of originality  in the entire US. Brooklyn, New York, The Bronx..where do you think it all came from? The place you so disrespectfully call 'the old Europe' of course. There are over 20 places in America called 'Holland' and I think that says enough....  How about thinking up some names of your own?

5. Bob Saget

Words would be insufficient to express my deep rooted hatred for Bob Saget. I despise 'Full house' and got foam at the mouth every time he would make a 'joke' in between the shorts of America's funniest home video's. The day he was replaced was a very happy one indeed. Each time that man appeared on TV I got the sudden urge to gouge my eyes out and mail them to him to show what he's doing to the world.

4. You need guns to compensate for......what exactly?

Seriously...whats wrong with you? Do you really need an M-16 with underslung grenade launcher and anti tank weaponry to defend your house against burglars? Of course not, you need it to compensate for your own impotence and lack of personality. You're a sad excuse for a human being if you think you're great when you own 10 guns and they all come from the 21st century. Try getting a gun from the 18th century instead. Thats when guns were for men and they took pride in making them. Your guns now are produced by impoverished people in factories in Idaho or north Dakota.

3. Worst media in history

Every American seems to hate the media, whether they be liberal or conservative. Fox news seems to be the most hated of them all and for good reason. Thats where Chris Wallace and Bill O'Reilly have their evil lair. These men are the most worthless human beings ever to be on television and its a never ending source of amazement if you take the time to examine what they actually say.

This is a quote from Bill O'Reilly in the O'Reilly factor that I found hard to believe:

You know, if I'm the president of the United States, I walk right into Union Square, I set up my little presidential podium and I say, 'Listen, citizens of San Francisco, if you vote against military recruiting, you're not going to get another nickel in federal funds,' "

He then went on:

"Fine. You want to be your own country? Go right ahead and if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we're not going to do anything about it. We're going to say, look, every other place in America is off limits to you except San Francisco. You want to blow up the Coit Tower? Go ahead."

Does everyone realise that what this madman is saying that if you don't vote like the government wants you to, he's for taking away your rights and letting you be exposed to the terrorists? Yes? Then why aren't there anti O'Reilly protests on the streets?

2. Religious insanity

Megachurches, several splinter religions, religious presidents and even the mention of crusade in the military budget. How crazy do you want it? America is filled to the brim with religious lunatics from every imaginable corner be they Christian or Muslim. The evangelicals want to abolish Christmas because it has pagan roots, in Salt lake city all sorts of debachery take place and atheists have on several occasions been declared the greatest enemies of the state.

Holland has enjoyed a steady decline of religous activity the past 60 years. State and church are rigidly seperated and we all want it to be so. President Bush on the other hand seemd bent on getting religion and preaching back into the white house and used it to justify his wars. Where do you find the arrogance to keep preaching to the world how righteous you are?

Speaking of arrogance....

1. Unbelievable Arrogance

Its our great number 1 and well deserved too.

There seems to be a tangible sense of arrogance permeating the US and its citizens. As soon as you say something positive about America everyone nods in confirmation and puts down every other country, be they in 'the old Europe' or in 'the exploitable Africa'. America is the best country and no doubt about it.

When some dares open his beak-like mouth to say something negative Americans go groaning and cranky. I had the comment 'don't you have something better to do but put America down?' when I wrote about religious lunatics on universities on a roleplay forum a few months back and comments about Bush and his borderline despotic patriot acts are equally despised. Its hard to take criticism I know but damn, be a bit more manly about it!

The comparison with Holland is easy. We complain about our own country so much its hard to imagine anyone else being able to make fun of us. On the other hand, Americans seem to take their nation so serious its hard for them to swallow any criticism at all. This kind of arrogance can only be born in a deep sense of insecurity.

Get some professional help and learn to take a joke!


America sucks!


Back to the world of rules and sucks

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