5 reasons why France sucks

1. Contrary to their own belief, the rest of the world does not speak French. Most of us speak English and would appreciate it if some attempts at comprehending this language were made.Even the Germans speak better English then the French. The Germans! If they were willing to learn then why can't the French?

Its my main gripe. They know that English is out there and they know that almost all tourists would prefer to speak it. The people who liberated them from the nazi's spoke English! Were they as reluctant to talk to them as they are to us? Why the hell did the Americans bother to liberate France at all?


2. Pay to get on their roads? What the fuck is up with this? The Germans and Dutch make their highways free of charge and the French have to charge us for driving on them? Its not like we're abusing the damn things with obscene amounts of traffic or steal little bits of it! On the other hand, that might not be a bad thought. You paid to be allowed on the damn road, you should be allowed to take a bit with you.


3. The Eiffeltower. Its big. Its ugly. Its a freaking tourist deathtrap. It was built 100 years ago and we all go watch the metal monstrosity because we feel we have to. Thats the only real reason. We feel a visit to France is not complete without seeing all those tons of steel piled onto each other to make for a vaguely pleasing estatic shape. Nice going assholes.


4. The only Frenchmen worth anything was a Corsican. Yeah,thats right. The greatest emperor Europe ever saw came from Corsica. He was a small man prone to anger named Napoleon and he made the lives of the rest of Europe a living hell for dozens of years. Oh, did I mention that he had a deep loathing for France and all its people?


5. The food. Jezus monkeyballs Christ, when will the French learn that the rest of the world might not be gay? I'm not interested in your slugs on a bed of lettuce, your Quiche au Chou Fleur, your hors d'oeuvres or your crepes de la Fontainare  We just want some good old food. Can you do that? Or are we gonna stick with the ludicrously small portions, the excessive use of nutmeg and the snooty service?


In case you need some sort of conclusion after this rant, I really dislike France. However, I will still go there on vacation. Love the scenery, hate the people.

France sucks!


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