Men's manual

Translated from Dutch is the greatest manual for handling men ever. Women around the world, take heed and pay attention:


The male manual

1. Be a big girl and just put the toilet seat down. If its up, just put it down. For us its up, for you its down. We have equal rights of complaining that it was in the wrong position. Lets bury the hatchet on this one...

2. Birthday, mothersday or wedding anniversaries don't require 'the perfect gift' every time. Sometimes we just don't have you on our minds. Deal with it.

3. Any sport conceived by man is more fun then 'as the world turns'

4. Do not cut your hair! Long is always better then short. Men fear married life because women have a tendency to cut their hair and they'l be stuck with you...

5. Shopping is not fun and that is an unbreakable law.

6. Crying is and will always be blackmail.

7. State your mind. Subtle hints do not work just as obvious hints will go unnoticed. Just...say...your...mind!

8. A man has a maximum of three pairs of shoes. How could we possibly be any help in finding that perfect pair to go with that dress?

9. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

10. Share your problems if you seek solutions. We like solving problems, its what we do. if you want compassion, go to your friends.

11. Sex is just part of the deal. 3 times a week is NORMAL and not to much.

12. What we said a year ago doesn't count in the discussion of today. In fact, every statement older then a week becomes null and void.

13. yes, the house looks clean and tidy. This comments is valid for the next 20 years. Don't ask, we won't notice.

14. If you feel fat, you probably are. Don't ask our opinion and from now on we'l refuse to answer any questions about it.

15. Let us flirt. You can't stop us peeking, its a trait all men are born with.

16. If there's an itch it gets scratched. Thats the essence of male evolution....

17. If men ask if something's wrong and you say that there's nothing the matter we know you are lying. However, we like things the way they are and won't ask questions.

18. If a man says nothing wrong then thats true. Accept it.

19. If we're going somewhere then whatever you are wearing is perfectly fine. Really.

20. You do have something to wear.

21. if you ask a question and there is no response then the answer is yes. Don't hold us to it, we just weren't listening.

22. Women are safer drivers then men. Does this mean we trust you behind the wheel? No. Accept it.

23. I'm in shape. The tummy is part of that shape.

24. Yes we always love beer. Just as you always love purses.

25. Thanks for accepting this list. If it means we have to sleep on the couch for the night then thats fine because the couch is like camping and we like camping.


Men rule!

Back to the world of rules and sucks

Want to add stuff to this list?