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Wanted: Hollywood script that doesn't suck

I just don't get it. You have the best actors in the world, budgets approaching the ridiculous (the record now stands at 250 million dollars) and the most sophisticated technology available for making the very best movies that we can possibly imagine. They just forget one thing...... A decent script..

The script is the single most important thing in a movie. Without it, all the fancy CGI, pumped action scenes and drama just fails to get anything across. It all just falls apart.

And it happens a lot! Take a look at these prize examples and find that you agree with me:



This movie sucked balls! I've never seen so many gaping plot holes, stupidly incredulous characters or such an unsatisfying ending. It was just hopeless from start to finish! If it wasn't for that big mean black dude they found to play Kingpin I would have walked out of this piece of shit after half an hour.


The Hulk

After about 5 minutes I realized what rubbish I was wading my way through and I tried to force myself to leave. However, the subconscious half of me wanted to wait for the Hulk to start throwing tanks as I've always had a thing for a monster fighting against tanks.

Oh and he throw a tank. One tank. It immediately was the one good scene in the entire movie. The only thing that kept me in the theatre for another torturous hour was hoping for more Hulk vs tank action.  They should have filmed that one scene and put it on repeat for 2 hours. That sure as hell would have been preferable to watching the thing in its entirety.

My version of The Hulk:

Perfect, don't change a thing...


War of the worlds.

Still makes me froth at the mouth, mainly due to the stupid script and the obvious time restraints Spielberg had. The battle scenes made me thrown my popcorn at the screen.

I never want to see or discuss this movie again and if someone ever mentions it to me I'll punch him.


X-men 3

Can you spell: FUCKING STUPID SCRIPTWRITER? This flick had to many villains, to many heroes and a series of twists so stupid you'd think they had made this movie for a hall of drooling idiots. The fool who introduced 'power levels' in mutants needs to be put against a wall and shot immediately. Next time, just take Magneto and make him say cool one liners to professor X for 1,5 hours. The talk between those two was the only good scene in the entire film. Well, that and magneto lifting the entire bridge to Alcatraz.


Superman returns

I actually looked forward to this movie. And it sucked. Badly. It had great casting and great CGI. All it lacked was a coherent, believable script. What the fuck was Luthor planning to do after he made that huge bit of land? His plan never made any sense to me for a second. At one point in the movie he even seemed to realize himself that his plan sucks and he sits down and sighs. Yes Kevin Spacey, sigh all you want, you still got stuck in a bad movie with a script a ten year old could have written!


Spider-man 3.

Jezus monkey fucking Christ! How can part 3 be so disappointing after part 2 being so damn good?

Why the hell was there no good decent coherent fight scene without interruptions every 3 seconds? What was that stupid 'peter parker shows his moves in a jazz bar to make Mary Jane jealous' doing in that movie? Why didn't Venom or the Goblin have more screen time and why did they both die at the fucking end? Oh btw, this bit of text may contain spoilers...

In short, this movie has disappointed me. Why haven't they made this more like the 1994 cartoon? That rocked so much it almost gave me a trauma!

Here, check this intro for it and be amazed by cartoon history:


Holy crap, it has bass guitars and everything! This is to damn much, I need to sit down...


Luckily we have a lot of summer blockbusters to go with plenty of chances for good movies. I mean, how can they possible screw up Transformers? I doubt even Michael bay is dumb enough to accomplish that.

I hope.


Stupid scripts suck!


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