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Death Race

Popcorn is now up to 6 euro's a box. Movie tickets cost 9 euro's. Service is terrible and the tickets aren't worth collecting anymore now that they look like supermarket receipts. The trailers all feature crap movies featuring Shia LeBarf and the people around me are annoying.

So when I visit the movies I better have a goddamn good reason. Death race is such a reason.

The premise is that prisoners in the near future (the economy is due to crumble in 2012) will be racing each other for viewer ratings. Its a fixed fact of any given future that there will always be apocalyptic road warriors and this future sure delivers on that end. There are other storylines featuring Jason Stathams dead wife and stolen daughter, but seriously, I wasn't paying attention during those bits.

What this film is about are of course the murderous death racing cars. Paul 'Worthless Script' Anderson doesn't even bother to present a believable story and cuts straight to exactly what we want. Cars. Murdering. Despite the fact that there are no innocent pedestrians getting murdered and only one actual person getting hit by a car (his head does proceed to explode though) there is a staggering amount of action that will blow your mind. This movie is violent to the point of being insane. In-fucking-sane.

But what makes it even better is the inclusion of professional hardass football hooligan-turned-actor Jason Statham. This man is so unbelievably awesome that I hereby propose a law that states that he should be in all movies ever produced from this point. Heck, I could make a movie poster with him staring angrily in a variety of poses and it would rule.

He is without a doubt the most badass actor ever coughed out of the UK and I absolutely love all his work and every movie associated with him (even the one directed by Uwe Boll). He's an old style actor who does nothing besides staring madly at you and punching people for various reasons. He single handedly rescues death race from being overrun by wisecracking stereotype black men. Jason don't take that crap, yo!

Amazingly, even the script didn't bother me so much. Sure, its a story that could have been told to 4 year olds and they'd understand and Anderson isn't to big on minor things like character development and realistic human emotions (Statham only seems mildly annoyed at the brutally violent death of his wife) but as I said so often before, nobody cares. The cars are awesome and so is the violence. That's all we need.

The only question left for me in my mind is this. Who would win a fight? Jason Statham or Michael Ironside?

Please make this happen Hollywood. I would die a happy if somewhat deranged man.



PS: Technically probably not a 4 MI movie but Statham's eyes really scare me...


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