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McCain is gonna win.

Come to terms with your greatest fears. McCain is gonna be the next president of the United States. He's gonna be just like Bush and instead of making up for all the mistakes of that horrible administration he's gonna make a whole lot of his own. My money is on Iran, less then a year from his election. Shock and awe and 6 years of brutal civil war and IED's after it.

But why am I so certain McCain is gonna win? Well, I have several reasons actually:


4. McCain is evil.We all know that in the real world evil always wins. I know this is stupid thinking  and utterly devoid of trust in humanity but humanity isn't exactly deserving of trust in the first place. Don't get discouraged though. I have some good reasons too. But first, check out this unbiased and fair comparison:


Coincidence? You decide!!!!



3. Obama is overconfident. Its exactly the same thing as with senator Dukakis a while ago. He's posing as if he's president already and that makes people angry and vote for the other guy. This gfoes double in America who tend to get angry pretty darn quick. I'm sure there's some recent school gun-tragedy that will prove this point. BAM BAM BAM!! Thank you, ma'am.

2. Sarah Palin. The woman is a PR machine. Pops up from nowhere (apparently Alaska is a state) and takes in all the media and people she meets. Also, she has the creepiest smile since Julia Roberts.



She's like king Midas but instead everything she touches is turned into instant attention for John McCain. Good or bad. Even Cynical-C, the only blog I visit with any kind of regularity is utterly obsessed with her and posts whatever dirt he can find on her. What he doesn't realize is that ANY kind of attention he gives her is good for her and for McCain. More eyes focused on her and less on Obama. That's how America works. Its not about being the best candidate, its about having the most screen time.

1. Americans are idiots. I hate to bring this up and you may well dismiss it as being Euro-trash talk but it seems like the truth nonetheless.

After 8 years of Bush, uncountable deaths in Iraq, uncountable scandals bordering on the criminal, cover ups to hide the awful truth and downright lying on every major network noone seems to care. A single war in Georgia and people immediately think: Hey, this McCain dude is older. Old people do well against Russia and BAM, landslide poll change towards republican. Its really that easy. Thank you Russia.



Call me insane. Call me poorly informed. Call me biased. Call me pessimist. But I predict that when election time comes all Americans will feel that the only 'change' they need is a 71 year old male republican.

Please America. Prove me wrong. Please please please.


McCain sucks. But he's still gonna win.



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