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Things they really need to make a movie of


I think that title is pretty self explanatory....



Yes, you remember this cartoon. Its the one with the flying car, the lasers and other assorted coolness. I just can't figure out why nobody is making a movie about this! Its got everything, from great battle scenes, to decent storylines and even an annoying kid for the younger viewers.

There's hope though. They're making a movie about the Transformers. If that works out, who knows what they're gonna do next. Fingers crossed.

Other cartoons that need to be brought into theatre:



-Shadow raiders


The A-team

Probably the riskiest project for any director out there but far from impossible. A movie of the A-team would stand or fall by its cast. It was the great cast that lifted the 80's show to nigh legendary status in the first place and a movie with a poorly selected cast would be burned down by critics and fans alike . Doing a movie with the original cast is impossible as George Peppard is dead.

Hannibal, we salute you.

I believe it is possible to replace the original A-team actors. How about Mel Gibson as Hannibal? Jim Carrey as Murdock? That big bad black guy from the Green mile and daredevil as B.A? Some good looking actor as faceman? Lets face it, face is the easiest to replace of the bunch.

It could work! Despite the horrendous attempt at remaking the Dukes of Hazard and the accepted fact that remakes of 80's shows nearly always turn out bad I believe it could work. Really. It could. Really.

Guess there is a bit of wishful thinking involved here....



I guess its hard to make a movie about this with any sort of continuity as they killed of the main characters at the end of season 3 and replaced them with a completely different cast, but DAMN this show ruled! The first season was basically a series of shots with the main character (Stringfellow Hawk) being a mean badass to his boss, his friends and the people he bought groceries from and that same Stringfellow Hawk then taking to the skies in his unbeatable black helicopter to blast the bad guys to pieces. I can see a remake of this show in the future but they're gonna need a new helicopter. The rich moron who bought Airwolf after the show ended crashed in the ocean and got his stupid ass killed. Serves him right for painting it blue.


Other 80's shows which need a movie:

None as the 80's sucked! The A-team and Airwolf were the only exceptions.


A War of the worlds that doesn't suck

I feel very strongly about this and I know it is possible to make a movie of the original book that doesn't suck like Spielberg's monstrosity did. For such a project to succeed I think moviemakers need to remember these points:

-We're not interested in looking at Tom Cruises face for 5 minutes while a rumbling noise fills the theatre.

-We're not interested in 20 minutes of psychological drama

-Please don't make the soldiers look like morons.

-Please come up with a plot that makes sense.

-Please don't make the aliens look like morons.

-Please don't make the special effects take over the movie. I call this the 'George Lucas' effect.

-We're not interested in looking at kids screaming. Instead, try killing kids on screen, perhaps by making those tripod things step on a few. Preferably on Dakota Fanning, her family and Tom Cruise.

-Set the movie in 10th century England as was the case in the book. While it never gets old to see Americans zapped to dust a change of scenery would be good.

-Don't make the aliens arrive in lightning bolts. That was stupid.

-Don't try to tell us the machines had been buried on earth for millions of years. That was stupid.

-Don't try to tell us that the aliens first buried their machines here and later returned to get killed by bacteria. That was stupid.

-Don't make F-18 fighter jets fly over low while firing missiles. That was stupid.

-Please use Morgan Freeman's voice again. That was cool.

-Please show more shots of Paris being destroyed. That NEVER gets old. Ever.

I hope to see a War of the worlds some day that doesn't suck. Its not gonna happen any time soon though as Spielberg truly messed this up so badly that movie makers probably don't want to make anything involving aliens during this century.


Michael Ironside: The movie

If something like ever comes out I swear right here and now that I will chain myself to the theatre chair and will watch every show until I either die or I'm thrown out by riot police, whichever comes first.

This movie would basically be about Michael Ironside as we follow him in his ongoing quest to rid the world of aliens, Arnold Schwarzenegger while running a fleet of fishing boats and being a mentor figure to a squad of young troopers. Yeah, that would be the plot.

Not that Ironside needs a story to make a badass movie.

For lines, we simply take every single badass quote ever made by man and make him say it. Lines like these:

'I have a dream! A dream in which we were deliberately attacked by the empire of Japan during the peace in our time. An Iron curtain has been raised and we shall overcome! They are an evil empire but ladies and gentlemen, we got him! This day shall live in infamy but we shall not go quietly into the night. Today we celebrate our independance day!'

Yes, that may sound like a bunch of nonsense but I bet that Michael ironside could make it sound cool. Everything he says sounds cool. Jeesh, give this man a movie already!


Warhammer: the movie

Yes, this is what the world needs and I'm not even being sarcastic. It would contain an unparalleled amount of violence, men swinging swords and cannons firing and we would love it. No story, no boring character development, just violence.

Yes, this is what the world needs.


Things we DON'T need:

-Romantic comedies. Just don't.

-Cheap action movies with stupid plots (I'm looking at you The Sentinel!)

-Starwars, in any form.



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