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Once every 6 or so months I like to organize an event that has only one guest, me. it involves a lot of alcohol, a lot of terribly bad movies and nothing else. These kinds of nights help me to achieve a kind of total relaxation that's not possible in any other social event of any kind. Really, there's nothing quite like a night of laughing about your own dumbass jokes( not told to anyone which makes it all the more funny) and watching bad movies, all under the influence of a crate of beer. I recommend to to everyone, just not more then twice a year...

Last time I watched a whole season's worth of Top gear. This time, I wanted to reacquaint myself with an old favorite , the Predator movie franchise. I was a fan of those movies 10 years ago and I expected them to be drunken entertainment for this night. After all, I remember the Alien vs Predator movies to be pretty goddamn terrible so surely, with my advanced age and accumulated wisdom these old movies would provide me with  nothing more then a few smiles out of nostalgia?




I was wrong





The people who made the first two Predator movies knew damn bloody well how to make an awesome movie.  Both premises are so flipping cool they must have been conceived over a drunken pool game with some good Metal music on the background. I imagine it went something like this:

"Hey, lets have a super strong alien kill the whole team led by Arnold Schwarzenegger in a jungle!"

and then:

"Great idea! And for the sequel, lets have Danny Glover fight the super alien and kill him by sticking a chainsaw in his guts!"

"Great idea! But first, lets get utterly drunk and then hire Stan Winston to create the super alien!"


The movies then materialized to end up in my DVD collection some years later and they still rule. I mean, they have everything a viewer who is only looking for good creepy entertainment could ever want. A badass alien with a sense of honor, terrified humans with guns, Arnold Schwarzenegger (I copied the picture above only to get a reference to the dude's name. Its not possible to properly type it without it.) and a badass Danny Glover kicking alien ass.

This may be the first and only movie where a human takes on a superior alien and believably kicks his ass. No shit. That has never been done before and might never be done again. I know, humans have killed aliens in movies before but Danny Glover makes it look like he could actually kill an 8 foot overly muscled, green blooded giant. Hell, even the crappy screenshot I took with my damn phone tells you it would be a hard match to fight a guy who looks like a cross between Robocop and a Xenomorph.

Right after this he punches a swirling blade in the guts of the giant and it falls flat on its ass. Son of a bitch, it doesn't get much more awesome then that!

Now, before this article goes even further down the abyss of mindless fanboy hood I'm gonna put an end to it.

May your bottle never empty.

Predator rules!


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