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The Renaaaauult.

I dislike France. I dislike its snooty people who seem incapable of communicating in any other language then their own. I dislike its overbearing arrogant leaders who do everything to avoid looking stupid and failing miserably at every chance they get!. I dislike its inedible food that seems to be based around the most disgusting looking animals in the world. I hate its ridiculously expensive toll highways and its stupid 300 meter high tower that was built for no apparent reason other then be able to brag about it.


But most of all, I hate French cars. I hereby propose a law that states that cars can only be made by the Germans or the Italians. The Germans because they actually know how to built a car that you can use for years to come and the Italians because for all their flaws they know how to built a cool super car (even if its gearbox does fall apart when you make a mistake).

By a twist of fate I was forced to leave my own vehicle and was forced to drive a Renaaaault for a day while my indestructible German car was being repaired after being caught in a blazing fire (during which it single handedly rescued two kittens and an orphanage). Me and that car immediately disliked each other. Being a loan car it had no radio, it was diesel powered and it handled like a 10 ton truck. Its trunk lid was also quite impossible to move without the aid of at least 3 other people.

It was, quite possibly, the worst car I've ever driven and that analyses includes a 15 year old Seat Marbella in which I still had to inject fuel manually to get it going during a cold day.

Its the little things that get on your nerves in a car. The freakishly huge steering wheel that had no horn on it. I had to actually search for the horn and discovered it was located on the same handle you use to indicate direction

You get a steering wheel this size and  you put the horn besides it? Idiots.

Aside from the terrible handling, the horn issues and the immovable trunk door there was one tiny detail that drove me utterly mad during my few rides with the renaaauuult. When you turn the indicator you normally get a soft clicking sound from the dashboard to let you know your indicator works. In the renaauult this clicking sound came from the glove compartment.

Each time I turned my glove box was ticking and for some reason I found this more annoying then any other feature of the car.

Terrible car from a terrible nation. Strangely fitting I suppose but still,

French cars suck!



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