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Snooker makes your balls shrivel!

This is a little something I read today in the TV guide for BBC2:

21.00 Snooker

24.00 News

To someone else that might not seem so important. The average man might enjoy a little snooker. perhaps even 5 hours of it.. But to me it means TopGear was cancelled.

God-fucking-damnit! Topgear cancelled so that they might broadcast 5 HOURS of snooker? 5 hours?? 5 hours of overdressed men poking sticks at colored balls? 5 hours of listening to mortifyingly boring commentators talking about how one ball didn't quite make the right contact with the other ball? 5 hours of watching BALLS FALLING INTO BAGS???

I'd rather watch the Peasant jam 3 foot of Christmas banquet bar up the ass of an inflated Santa Claus!

Words seem barely adequate to describe how much I hate snooker right now. Its like a flaring hot anger comes from within. A burning sensation in my chest. A volcano of barely containable internal gasses. Although, on second thought, that might also be the whiskey I just drank to endure the middle part of Robocop 2, the boring part before the big robot battle.

Damn, words really do suck to describe this. Let me instead try to make it clear just how much snooker sucks by showing you these 'jokes' taken directly from internet-snooker.com. I think you may see things my way after that.

Pay particular attention to the warning that accompanies the jokes........


Snooker jokes

Even if you are a dedicated snooker fan we cannot guarantee that you would enjoy these snooker jokes. However, we did try out best and if you feel that you can do better you are welcome to donate some snooker jokes of your own…

  • How can you make a snooker table laugh? By tickling its balls!
  • Choosing a sexual orientation is the same as playing snooker: in both cases you gotta to choose between an easy pink and a tight brown.
  • Two drunks play snooker in a pub. After a few hours of playing with not a single ball being potted drunk no.1 suggests his friend to move things forward. How exactly? asks drunk no. 2. And his friend answers: by taking the balls out of the frame!

    Snooker really really really sucks!!




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