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This darkness


It took me 10 minutes to come up with a proper line to start this review. I considered it very carefully so pay attention to what I'm going to say next.

Holy crap, this movie sucks! In all my life I've never come across anything remotely this low budget nor do I hope to ever come across it again. Jezus-freaking-nut-cracking-Dumbledoreturnedouttobegay-Christ!

If anyone would ever take the trouble of seeing through this piece of low budget tripe, you might notice that the story isn't half bad and that the main character is actually remarkably thought through and has the characteristics of an actual human being. Also, the vampire attacks are pretty fun to look at and I'll be damned if that vampire chick isn't actually pretty damn sexy.

The problem is that no one in their right mind would ever get anywhere in this movie as it takes you about 5 minutes to realize that the low budget is murderous. The sound sucks, the editing is crap, there was apparently only money for one take for each shot and most of the actors are retarded morons who are obviously picked of the street to act in a movie for 5 dollars. As fun a way that must be to spend an afternoon I pray to whatever deity is out there that it never happens again.

The highlight of the time I wasted on this waste of a perfectly good DVD disk is that at the 80th minute even my DVD player decided it sucked and jammed up on it. Whatever I tried I couldn't get it to run anymore. That seems like a bit of justice as my nerves were about to be shattered by its sheer awfulness.

So let this be a lesson. Never, EVER watch a movie that was given to you in a joke. Seriously. To show how serious I am I'm gonna rate this movie by the Britney Spears scale of stupidity.

3 Britneys for this awful excuse of a film. May my eyes never see its like again.



After long hard looking I found the perfect place for it. May it decompose in peace.




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