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Don't toast your Sub, idiot!

I'm what you might call a 'regular customer' at Subway restaurants. In fact, I think I'm what you might call a 'fanatic customer' at Subway restaurants. And if you want to take it one step further and a lot closer to the truth then I could best be described as a 'religious customer' of Subway restaurants. If you come in and they already start making your sandwich because you haven't ordered anything else for years then yes, you're a religious customer. I treat Subway stamps as artifacts. Sandwiches are holy objects and the Subway restaurant is the holy ground.

Come on, you want one. Go ahead. I'll wait.

My religious devotion to the subway sandwich makes it very annoying to see that some people( lets refer to them as 'tasteless idiots' for fair and unbiased judgment) choose to have their sandwich subjected to a process devised by satan and his manyfold minions in order to make the good tasted people of this world suffer.

Its called 'toasting'.

The natural form of the subway sandwich is one of serene, rich tasty goodness. Especially when its fresh its amongst the finest bread I know, and I know bread. Its my 3rd favorite food, right after beer and meat. Its supposed to be consumed in that natural state, for which it was devised. What bloody stupid moronic excuse for a human being would willingly choose to have such rich and good bread put in an oven and obliterate it with 2 million degrees worth of heat?? It beggars belief.

This is the kind of bread I normally toast:

Its old. Its nigh inedible and its the only thing I had left. That's when you break out the toaster and scorch it to make it at least slightly digestible to eat. That's what you do with old bread. You either toast it and cover it with meat or you feed it to ducks, which you can then eat.

Nowhere in any cookbooks will you ever find that its a good notion to ruin perfectly good bread in an oven. Didn't you morons ever notice that bits start falling off when you try to eat it? You've tortured it! You've maimed it! You've ruined perfectly good tasty rich bread and you should be shot! You're worse then Hitler!

Now go away. All this talk off Subway has made me hungry.


Toasting Subway Sandwiches sucks!


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