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5 traffic situations that will drive you insane

Last year I found myself a member of the commuting community and oh joy of joys, I got to commute for 3 quarters of an hour to get to my job. From the moment that you're commuting you're no longer experiencing driving as fun, its a task that must be done in order to get to your other tasks and then you get to drive back home. If that wans't bad enough, you're also forced to interact with the other traffic in order to avoid dying. Seriously, there must be an easier way to do this!

Anyway, during these forced interactions situations arise that will drive you nuts. Me, at least. Also, I added helpful pictures for some reason.


5. The overtaking truck on the right

Yes, well. This is mainly due to your own stubbornness then anything else. If a truck overtakes you on the right it means you're one of those jerks who fails to get to the right in time and sticks to the left in order to overtake something that's still to far ahead. Way to go, jerk.

That said, it can happen to anyone. I know, because it happens. To me. And I'm usually not a left sticking jerk. Sometimes those trucks sneak up on you.... I'm getting pathetic now, aren't I?


4. The mystery flash

 I've found this situation to be deeply infuriating and mystifying. You're just minding your own business on whatever road and BAM, someone flashes you in the rear view mirror. You jump up, wondering what you did, who you offended or who's sister you accidentally banged. If you're paranoid enough you'll  even stop at the next opportunity to see if your lights work or if your exhaust is hanging off. You're searching madly for something to justify the brutal flashing you got!

It gets even more irritating if you find nothing. If your lights work, your exhaust is still on and you're sure you didn't make terrible traffic mistakes then why the hell did you get flashed? Its infuriating! Its maddening! It will get stuck in your mind right up to the point when you can flush it out with many hours of porn. Aargh!!

Almost as annoying and pointless as this. Almost.


3. The not functioning 'Green wave'

Many cities in Holland claim to have so called 'green waves' in their main roads. basically it means that when you stick to a certain speed (usually ridiculously low) all traffic lights you encounter pop green the moment you come close.

They don't. I've only ever encountered one functioning green wave and all the others suck balls! They don't go green, they stay red. They don't move an inch, they all seem poised to stop you from moving at all. They're evil on earth! Not so because they stop you, because all traffic lights do that. No, the green waves first give you hope that perhaps you might make it quick, perhaps you won't be late... and then smash it with an iron fist of red traffic lights. Hopes dashed.

Here, the evil green wave can be seen devouring a small store apparently owned by the ministry of casual living. Oh yes.

2. The maelstrom

This one happens to me all the time. You're most likely to get entangled in a maelstrom when you're not really paying attention for a while on the highway. You're just cruising along nicely, perhaps singing along with your Kylie Minogue album or in my case, my CD containing nothing but versions of 'Ghostriders in the sky'.

 Here's how it goes. You pay enough attention not to crash but you forget to overtake a truck right until its too late. You yourself are being overtaken by other cars and there are many of them. Goddamn, the line is endless. You have to slow down. Put your foot on the brake and slow right down to truck speed. Truck speed! On the highway!

 You curse yourself for your stupidity and wish to God you'd overtaken the bastard sooner so you wouldn't have to wait precious seconds. Its annoying as hell.


1. The Orange light

The orange light represents everything that's wrong in mankind's existence. It is the alfa and the omega of annoyance. It is the very definition of suck. It is conclusive evidence that the universe hates you and will murder your first born offspring.

We all run into these bastards every single day, unless you're the luckiest commuter on the planet or you cheat somehow. If so, let me know how that works. What nags most of all is the fact that the orange light can be a friend. It's meant to be a smooth transisition to other people stopping while you careen on, burning fuel to catch it and some people do catch it. Not me though. I miss out on it with a statistically impossible certainty. I'm always to far off to catch it. I always have to slow down and take the full brunt of the red light, staring at me. Laughing. I hate traffic lights... I hate them all and soon I will burn them down. Yes....


Traffic sucks!


Back to the world of sucks and rules


Typical working day

More stuff that annoys me!