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Phone Camera effects

Yet another bit of useless technology forced upon us by convenience. We know that phones without camera's exist. We can order them but somehow we don't. We order our high tech piles of uselessness out of easy flyers and think that suddenly we can be captain Kirk and use infra red to beam information to other units.

Now all that I can live with. People will always find new things to be incompetent with and that will never change. But what in the name of all that's unholy is the use of camera effects? Nobody cares! Nobody uses them.

Observe the uselessness of camera effects for yourself, in order from least useless to most useless.

5. The black and white effect

It must have rained flowers on the day when some genius decided that the exact thing we needed in the 21st century was to be able to take pictures with our telephones that look like they were taken 50 years ago. Sometimes you wonder why you didn't think of something. Well, maybe that's because its the dumbest thing you could possibly come up with! This is one of those times........

4. The Sepia effect

This is basically the same thing as with the black and white effect only more stupid. Instead of making the pictures 50 years old it makes them 100 years old which is of course infinitely superior to black in white in the field of uselessness.

3. The Negative effect

Why?? Why for the love of team Fortress would we want to take pictures that look like negatives? The only reason negatives ever existed in the first place was to make normal ordinary pictures out of them. We only kept them so we could make more normal ones. Normal ones!


2. The relief effect

As far as uselessness goes we're really climbing the ladder. If you look really carefully and squint a little you can just make out the face of Che Guevara here, but probably not. Unless you're into making secret pictures one could only understand after looking at it for an unhealthy amount of time I don't recommend this.


1. The 'no one could possibly make anything out of this' effect

Man has finally come up with the perfect way to waste megabytes on a phone. Its official name is the 'sketch' effect but I prefer the title above and for very good reasons. I challenge you to make out what the hell is happening on the picture and I'll be forced to agree with you because I completely forgot what the hell was going on when I took it. I can't possibly comprehend why anyone would take pictures like this and any attempts so far are only making my brain go round in circles! It has no use! It is purposeless! It is without function! Why the hell did we create it?

Same reason we climb ridiculously high mountains. Because we can.....


Phone camera effects suck!


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